Sheep Lesson #3: Guided by Voice

We’ve been trying to train our lambs to walk with the harness. Ugh! They hate it so much it makes me almost hate it too! But if we ever want to show our lambs (not likely, but there is the possibility) we need to learn how to have them walk with a harness.

So what do these gentle, sweet lambs to when we put the harness on them? They throw themselves face first onto the hay and dig their hooves into the dirt. Oh so cooperative, eh?

What happens when I don’t put the harness on them?

Both Rachel and Leah will follow the sound of my voice. That’s right, we haven’t had them a week and yet they know my voice and Kenzie’s voice. They will follow us from their pen across a full thirty feet of open land and through a small gate into their pasture.

Frolicking in green pastures.

They would much rather be led by voice than by harness. “Do not be like the horse or the mule, which have no understanding but must be controlled by bit and bridle or they will not come to you.” ~ Psalm 32:9

Does it remind you of something?

It sure reminds me of something:

(from John 10)

2 The one who enters by the gate is the shepherd of the sheep. 3 The gatekeeper opens the gate for him, and the sheep listen to his voice. He calls his own sheep by name and leads them out. 4 When he has brought out all his own, he goes on ahead of them, and his sheep follow him because they know his voice.”

…

14“I am the good shepherd; I know my sheep and my sheep know me— 15 just as the Father knows me and I know the Father.”

Think about that for a moment. Jesus said that just as the Father knows Him and He knows the Father, this is how we will know Him. That’s an amazing intimacy we’ve been called into! He wants us to recognize and follow the sound of His voice. He wants that even more than we want it.

Sheep don’t need a harness. They’ll follow the sound of the shepherd’s voice.

I no longer feel insulted when I’m called a sheep.

Sheep Lesson #1: Eye Level

We had a mad morning dash through wonderland, and at 11pm I’m still breathless!

I awoke at 5:30am and dragged my family out of bed by 6:30 so we could get to the farmers’ market by 7:15 at the latest. Our mission: to find someone selling sheep.

No one there sold sheep, but they knew a waitress at the local diner who knew a sheep farmer.

The waitress was on vacation, but our very friendly waiter suggested we visit the feed store.

We finished the generous helping of pancakes, eggs and home fries, then we visited the feed store. While convincing Kenzie that we weren’t there to buy a duckling (no matter how cute the duckling was), we learned the name of the local sheep farmer: Walter.

Walter showed us around his farm, but said he wouldn’t have any lambs ready for another month.

We did get to see a lamb who’d been born 3 or 4 hours before we got there, and we did get to pet this absolutely adorable Hampshire lamb. Priceless.

Walter told us about TJ, who might have ewe lambs ready to sell.

We called and left a message.

While we waited, we visited yet another feed store.

Then, that perfect moment happened: we received a phone call and an invitation to visit the farm immediately!

TJ and his family were so sweet and personable and down to earth!

And from them I learned my first sheep lesson. If you crouch down to eye level, the sheep will come to you gladly and willingly.

Morning swelled into afternoon, and it didn’t look like we were getting our lambs. We had to go home to care for the chickens and do some yard work.

That’s when my husband told me: TJ was going to drop off two of their ewes to us this afternoon. And with the gift we’d received two days ago we could easily afford both lambs.

Rachel and Leah

This meant that my husband had to finish building a pen for them–fast. He did a marvelous job too!

Our twelfth anniversary present to one another this year: sheep.

What a fantastic present too! We’ve learned so much from these sheep! And from God through these sheep.

The biggest lesson by far has been about eye level.

When I crouched down and stretched out my hand, these two adorable ewes came right up to me and displayed tender affection.

In the Bible, God often refers to people as His sheep.

And He came down onto our level, into our day to day lives, meek and lowly, utterly humbled, and stretched out His hands toward us. All day long, as I thought about this, my heart burst with blooms of thankfulness I’d never known of before.

And while I go to hit my pillow in anticipation of my first full day as a shepherdess tomorrow, I think of Jesus, the Great Shepherd of our souls. He came down to our level. And how I want to be close, oh so close to Him. He came so close that He even became a Lamb. Oh! How I love this Man!

You Shall Be Holy

Holy…

It’s one of those words that’s so slippery in modern speech. One moment it’s archaic, another moment its frightfully demanding, another moment it’s downright impossible, and yet another moment it’s so attractive that it’s the most intriguing and desirable state imaginable.

Holy…

It’s wholly other than, so completely different that it’s beyond the realm of base imagination.

“As high as the heavens are above the earth, so are My thoughts higher than your thoughts and My ways higher than your ways.” Isaiah 55:9

Holy…

What terrified the ancients is scoffed on now. They feared they’d die if they saw the face of God. These days, most would treat that concept as either laughable or too religious.

But God is still the same. He has not changed. He’s still calling us to be

Holy…

Leviticus 19:2 says, “You shall be holy, for I the Lord your God am holy.”

Is this yet another rule, another regulation, another thing to add to a to do list?

Or is it a prophecy? Your destiny?

You, because of the work Jesus did on the cross, shall be holy even as He is holy.

(The laws that follow that verse about holiness are all about honoring the Lord and people, and caring for the poor.)

Holy…

The holiness of the Lord is the beauty of the Lord.

Perhaps we can look at it this way:

Psalm 27:4 talks about “To behold the beauty of the Lord”

Beloved, this is your destiny:

“But we all, with unveiled face, beholding as in a mirror the glory of the Lord, are being transformed into the same image from glory to glory, just as by the Spirit of the Lord.” ~ 2 Corinthians 3:18

“We know that when He is revealed, we shall be like Him, for we shall see Him as He is.” ~ 1 John 3:2

It is written, “Be holy, for I am holy.” ~ 1 Peter 1:16

Just trust Him, because you will be holy.

Feel free to share your thoughts on holiness and the word ‘holy’ in the comments below. I love to hear from you!

The Eagle and the Passover Lamb, a story

My name is Moses. I’m a crowned eagle. I am the 1748^th Moses in this line of crowned eagles. Our ancient ancestor, Daniel, saw a man named Moses, an Israelite, obey the Lord and lead the Israelites out of slavery in Egypt about 2000 years ago. And to remember that remarkable story, all of us first born boys are named Moses.

But something greater than Moses, or rather someone greater than Moses, is here.

I was there three years ago, flying over the Jordan River when the sky opened up and God declared that the man named Jesus, the one from Nazareth, was His beloved Son.

I heard John the Baptist say this was the Lamb of God.

I saw Jesus spend forty days in the wilderness.

I saw the day He fed over 5000 people with 5 loaves of bread and two fishes. I had been hunting in that lonely place when all those people showed up to find Him. I saw how many thousands of them He healed.

And now this.

It’s been almost a year since I last saw Jesus, but there’s no mistake, there He is, riding into Jerusalem.

This is the time of year called Passover, when the Israelites celebrate how God freed them from slavery in Egypt. They kill a perfect lamb and eat it with unleavened bread.

Jesus shows up in Jerusalem riding on a donkey. On a colt, the foal of a donkey. Everyone is shouting praises to Him. I call out my own praises, but I don’t know if anyone hears an eagle over the noise of these crowds.

Then Jesus comes to the temple and clears away all the people who are disturbing the prayer times with their money changing booths. Jesus makes the temple a place of reverence again.

Every day, as it comes closer to the great feast, Jesus goes to the temple and talks to the people.

Then the day comes when, instead of going to the temple, Jesus is dragged before the local ruler, a very mean man named Pontus Pilate.

What is happening now? He has been beaten to where I can’t even recognize Him. And they want Him to carry a cross up that big hill?

People are saying mean things to Him. Some people spit on Him.

Can’t they see this is the Lord of glory?

Can’t they see He is the Lamb of God?

Along with all the other birds of the sky, I raise my lament. Who can believe this report? And to whom has the arm of the Lord been revealed?

The sky darkens in the middle of the day.

It’s so dark.

Jesus cries out with a loud voice, “Father, into Your hands I commit My Spirit!”

We cry, all of us birds; some women, those who were with Jesus every time we saw Him, also cry. We weep and lament. What is the Lord doing?

The darkness fades, but now the sun is going down. They take Him down from the Cross. I still don’t understand.

For two days I have no desire to hunt. I cannot raise my usual song in the heights as I soar.

I do not have the heart to fly far from where they buried Him in that garden tomb. I stand there and keep watch in the trees, not far from the Roman soldiers.

It’s dawn of the third day since He died. In the distance, I see the women who followed Jesus. They are carrying large bundles. Their eyes look heavy from lots of crying.

The ground shakes. I take to the air so I’m not affected by this sudden earthquake. What’s happening?

The stone rolls away! There’s a bright light and some angels appear. The Roman soldiers fall over in terror. I’ve never seen men so afraid.

The women approach the tomb and are also afraid of the angels.

“Don’t be afraid,” one angel says to the women. “You seek Jesus of Nazareth. He is not here. He has risen from the dead! He is alive!”

Risen from the dead?! Alive?! What wonder is this! God has done something marvelous! The Lamb, the Lamb of God has died and He is alive again. Hallelujah!!

I see Him now, talking to one of the women. The sight of Him alive again fills my eagle heart with joy.

Before, when the lamb was killed at Passover, it was to free the Israelite slaves. Now, when the Lamb of God has been killed, what does it mean? Who is free?

I must go learn this. What a marvelous mystery!

Me and My Bad Self

Next time I ask God to do something, I won’t be so ready to assume how He will do it. Especially if it’s something as crucial as, “Lord, show me the Cross, show me what happened there!”

I asked this of the Lord several years ago. Since then I spiraled down toward what St. John of the Cross dubbed “The Dark Night of the Soul.”

And last year, for reasons I still don’t know (maybe because I asked Him again?), I took a nosedive into the Dark Night of the Soul.

Perhaps you’re not familiar with my bad self. I’m worse than I ever imagined. And I became quite intimately acquainted with all that badness over the last year.

Every day, for a year and a half, I opened up the Bible and saw myself reflected on its pages.

I fought against what I saw there. I kicked. I screamed. I threw every kind of protest I could — wasn’t I supposed to be beautiful in God’s eyes? The hideousness I saw in myself startled me. Vile pride. Murderous selfishness. Icky self-justification. The summary list could have been tallied in 10 point font and would have paved the road from the Gabbatha (the Stone Pavement) all the way to Golgotha.

I couldn’t stand it. I couldn’t take it anymore. Shutting my eyes tight, I wandered around trying to find someone who would tell me that I’m not like what I saw in myself. And in desperation I declared in my heart that this wasn’t God showing me my bad self. It couldn’t be. Everyone always said He didn’t come like this.

They weren’t necessarily lying, they just might not have experienced what I’d been experiencing.

I had a positively wretched day a few weeks ago. I outright said ‘no’ to the Lord’s prompting. It was a low point. An agonizingly low point. As soon as I said no, I felt like Peter who had just denied the Lord.

I’m astounded by God’s mercies. Completely astounded. For years I’d been so caught up in thinking how good I was that I was never able to see His mercy, I mean really see His mercy, for how glorious it is.

Today was another positively wretched day.

I have an absolute abhorrence of death. A knee jerk reaction. This is really bad if one is a chicken farmer. I cry every single time one of my chickens dies. Every time. Today, the culprit was none other than my dog.

After guiding my daughter over to the neighbor’s house, so she wouldn’t be near while I took care of things, I walked to the back of my property, dog beside me with tail between her legs, deceased chicken in one hand, rope in the other hand, crying the whole way. I had to break my dog of doing this, and the most successful way is to tie the dead thing around the dog’s neck and leave the dog like that for a while. So I did what I needed to. I tied the dead chicken to the dog.

And my dog’s name?

Faith.

What a picture the Lord was showing me in the awful deed that I had to do!

I’d been carrying around sin which had been acting like a corpse attached to my faith.

I’m about to let Faith off the hook, so to say, and I’m sure she’ll never want to see a chicken ever again. Live or dead.

And as we walk through the steps of Holy Week, I’m ready to count the paces to the cross where I will lay all my sin down. And I hope, like my dog with chickens, that I’ll never want to willingly sin again.

Because now, more than ever, I know what it cost Him. He who knew no sin became sin so that we might become the righteousness of God. He became sin. For me. He carried my sin and the wrath for my sin so that I could be in relationship with Him.

And what was one of the most hideous portions of sin that I carried?

The idea that I was at all, in my own strength, good. That saying of Jesus, the one that confused me so much for years, now makes sense:

“Who is good but God alone?”

I see now how all of humanity is on a level playing field, or rather, all in the same cesspool / whirlpool of mire. In the cross, Jesus jumped in with us (I mean, who would do that willingly?) and provided, in Himself, the means for redemption from all that.

I am undone. I am undone by His singular beauty, by the One who is altogether lovely. For the joy set before Him, He endured the cross.

And as painful as my journey was to get here, I ask Him again, “Lord, please show me the cross! Let me know what happened there!” Because I know I’ve only glanced the surface of His unfathomable love. And that suffering I endured during the Dark Night of the Soul cannot be compared to the glory that will be revealed to me, through me, of Him.

“I Will Repay the Years the Locusts Have Eaten”

When my husband and I bought our first house, scarcely three months after we married, it was from one of the sweetest couples we ever met. And this very sweet couple gave us this gigantic head’s up: our new neighbors would be…trying.

Trying is an understatement.

God used this neighbor to gave me a crash course in practicing the fruit of the Spirit. Could I still show kindness and gentleness when my neighbor took pictures of our friends visiting us (she said it was for evidence if she needed to call the police)? Or when she nearly called the cops because my dad dropped by at night? Could I still show gentleness when I was yelled at for getting a grass clipping on her side of the hedge?

Crash course.

It took years before I was genuinely thankful for that crash course. I was so thankful for kind neighbors after that experience, but I wasn’t thankful for those cantankerousness neighbors until a few years ago. The Lord does a quick work in the furnace. Could I love THAT neighbor as I love myself? I thanked Him for lesson my ‘trying’ neighbors gave me.

The Lord will also repay for the years the locusts have eaten.

In a perfect world, neighbors love one another and speak kindly to one another. They look out for one another and don’t suspect the worst.

My husband and I have lived in many places during our eleven years of marriage, but now we own a house again. This time we live in Texas.

And our neighbors are amazing.

This last week, while I fed chickens, chased my dogs and discovered that my daughter could read, and has been reading for a while, and refused to perform for me, my neighbor put up posts for a fence. For us. Without asking for a cent for his labor. “I’m out here anyway, and putting up a posts around my yard. Just glad I could help.”

I almost cried. His kindness was almost startling! I hope to pay this forward somehow.

Meanwhile, when his wife came home, she’d found a Frisbee for my daughter. They’re like an extra set of grandparents while the others live far away.

As grumpy and trying as our first neighbors were, God flipped it all around and tipped the scales in our favor.

Our neighbors on the other side homeschool their little girl. My daughter and this girl are becoming fast friends and spend every possible moment together.

The Lord will do exceedingly, abundantly above all that we could ask or even imagine. If He tells you that He will repay for the years that the locusts have eaten, prepare to be blown away by His generosity.

The Lord is good, and His mercy endures forever.

My Spikenard: a chief of sinners worships the King

While the king is at his table,
My spikenard sends forth its fragrance.
~ Song of Solomon 1:12

I’m here at verse 12 and feel more inadequate than ever to talk about worshiping the glorious King of the Universe. For years I had ebbed and flowed within ecstatic worship, caught up with every fiber of my being into the joy of enjoying God. Anyone who has been there knows there is almost nothing in the universe that would compare to this.
But lately, struggling with headaches and my own dark night of the soul, and staring in the face of all my inadequacies, I confess I’m a very poor specimen of a Jesus lover to be bringing this glorious message. The chief of sinners, as one ancient said, yet here I am.

There was another representative of this message, a woman who brought spikenard for her king. People deemed her a poor specimen too. She snuck into the house of a very important and religious man, then in front of an audience who reclined at dinner, in a most awkward display of adoration and emotion, she spread forth her fragrance. There were tears and there was spikenard, but these were symbols of a more potent fragrance she poured upon her king. She brought a most profound gratitude. She was unnamed and known only by her ‘unrighteous living’ and two other facts that Jesus spoke over her: she was forgiven much and she loved him much.

One of the biggest lies I frequently tell myself is that I don’t have much love to give, and that I’m not a loving person. This isn’t helpful to me, to my family or in my relationship with God. Reciting this lie to myself keeps the focus on me and not where it should be: on the glorious King of Kings.

The next biblical instance of spikenard was just as awkward for nearly everyone in the room. What on earth was taking place in this incredibly awkward and spontaneous ceremony? Mary of Bethany took the most expensive thing she possessed, a pound of spikenard, which may have been her only object of value, and she poured it out on the head of a single man in a room full of men. Even while she was maligned by one of Jesus’ friends, Mary continued to pour out the oil in an act of worship, and an act of preparation for burial. She understood where Jesus was going when his friends didn’t.

What was Jesus’ response to Mary? “She has done a beautiful thing to Me. Wherever My Gospel is preached, tell also what she did.” (My paraphrase of Matthew 26:10-13 )

Her act of worship has her included in His Gospel. As part of His Gospel. That’s intense! Wowsers! What on earth is going on here?

She took Him at His word.

Jesus said He will be coming again.

So I’m going to take Him at His word, especially since He isn’t slow in keeping His promises. I love so much how He doesn’t want a single person to perish.

And while I wait for Him, I’m going to pour out my worship over Him, whether I feel adequate or not, in preparation for His coming.

While the king is at his table,
My spikenard sends forth its fragrance.
~ Song of Solomon 1:12

I also want to point out a few things about this table. Psalm 23 says:

You prepare a table before me
in the presence of my enemies.

And from Psalm 36:

How priceless is your unfailing love, O God!
People take refuge in the shadow of your wings.
They feast on the abundance of your house;
you give them drink from your river of delights.

Eat, O friends and drink! Drink deep, O lovers! ~ Song of Solomon 5:1b

Alambaster Box by Julie Meyer:

Merry Christmas!

I hope you all have a beautiful Christmas! It’s one of my two favorite times of year, that time where God shows us His humble heart and undying love for us. Here’s one of my favorite songs to celebrate the season:

In The Bleak Midwinter
Words by Christina Rosseti

In the bleak midwinter, frosty wind made moan,
earth stood hard as iron, water like a stone;
snow had fallen, snow on snow, snow on snow,
in the bleak midwinter, long ago.

Our God, heaven cannot hold him, nor earth sustain;
heaven and earth shall flee away when he comes to reign.
In the bleak midwinter a stable place sufficed
the Lord God Almighty, Jesus Christ.

Angels and archangels may have gathered there,
cherubim and seraphim thronged the air;
but his mother only, in her maiden bliss,
worshiped the beloved with a kiss.

What can I give him, poor as I am?
If I were a shepherd, I would bring a lamb;
if I were a Wise Man, I would do my part;
yet what I can I give him: give my heart.

---

I have no conscious memories of this church, but this was one of the places I spent a great deal of time in my first year of life, and it shows up in dreams often. It’s always so special to see it in video:

And here’s a bonus one from the Belfast Cathedral Choir that shouldn’t be missed. I love the beautiful images in this video:

The Mare of Kings

Now we come to one of the most exciting passages in the Song of Solomon, even though it doesn’t seem that way on the surface. A young woman longing for love has just asked the shepherd she loves where to find him when he’s resting in the shade at midday. This is the same shepherd who had whispered that she was beautiful. Now, when answering her, he declares his thoughts boldly.

If you do not know, most beautiful of women,
follow the tracks of the sheep
and graze your young goats
by the tents of the shepherds.

I liken you, my darling, to a mare
among Pharaoh’s chariot horses.

Your cheeks are beautiful with earrings,
your neck with strings of jewels.
We will make you earrings of gold,
studded with silver.
(Song of Solomon 1:8-11)

Let’s unfold each of these images, and while we’re unfolding them, allow the Lord to speak to you in the secret place.

Every time the Shepherd opens conversation with you, He’s come to tell you first and foremost how beautiful you are. You are beautiful because that’s how the Lord designed you. Your soul is beautiful to Him, as you will see below.

We’re called by Him to graze our goats by the tents of the shepherds. This is a call to be in fellowship with others, even if that’s difficult.

Then, our Shepherd begins to speak the most remarkable words over us: He likens me to one of the mares on the chariots of Pharaoh. As king of Egypt, the Pharaoh owned the very best horses in the ancient Middle East, and the horses harnessed to his chariot were the best of all his horses. These were the ones trained for battle. I may not be a warhorse yet, but sometimes God speaks over me the things that are not as though they are. Here is how God describes the warhorse:

“Do you give the horse its strength
or clothe its neck with a flowing mane?
Do you make it leap like a locust,
striking terror with its proud snorting?
It paws fiercely, rejoicing in its strength,
and charges into the fray.
It laughs at fear, afraid of nothing;
it does not shy away from the sword.
The quiver rattles against its side,
along with the flashing spear and lance.
In frenzied excitement it eats up the ground;
it cannot stand still when the trumpet sounds.
At the blast of the trumpet it snorts, ‘Aha!’
It catches the scent of battle from afar,
the shout of commanders and the battle cry.” (Job 39:19-25)

This speaks of our mind sharpened and attuned to the Lord’s voice and the ways He has trained us. Whenever I think of these verses, I always think of Kevin Prosch’s lyric:

Like horses that are yoked to the chariots of kings
Hook me up to your heart, to your heart, O God,
Never to be free!

Then He speaks of our cheeks. Our cheeks show our emotions, and earrings speak of being a bond servant. Our emotions become beautiful through our unswerving devotion to the Lord.

Our neck speaks of our will. The more we live “Thy will be done,” the more our neck will glitter with jewels. There are many ways in which jewels are spoken of throughout the Bible, but a major way to consider here is this: the walls of the heavenly Jerusalem are layers of jewels. “Thy Kingdom come, Thy will be done, on earth as it is in Heaven.”

Gold speaks of the godly character He is working in you by His Holy Spirit. He who began a good work in you WILL carry it on to completion.

Silver speaks of redemption. He’s redeemed so much of our lives! God works all things together for good for those who love Him and are called according to His plan.

He will make us into those whose minds, wills and emotions show His character and demonstrate His redemption.

I liken you, my darling, to a mare
among Pharaoh’s chariot horses.
Your cheeks are beautiful with earrings,
your neck with strings of jewels.
We will make you earrings of gold,
studded with silver.

And, in case you were wondering, and in case you have been lied to, He loves your soul. He may not like the current state that my soul is in, but He loves my soul.

I’m going to close lyrics from one of my favorite songs. I wanted to find a video for you, but I couldn’t. If anyone has the music, please share. But I do have the lyrics. These echo words in my own heart:

COME DOWN

(c) Kevin Prosch

Into my hands have come many things

You should be disappointed

For I have wasted most of these

My innocence and youth, I poured them out like water

And to think to you that I am

Still worth saving from the fire, God

Come down and meet with me

You make my day so sweet

Inflame my soul oh God, with a cry for purity

Like horses that are yoked, to the chariots of kings

Hook me up to Your heart, never to be free

Too many compromises to get me through the day

Help me make the choices, sometimes I am afraid

When I’m deaf to everything but the cry of my own pain

Give me the grace to trust You, I cannot walk away

Don’t disappoint me God, not while I am

Not while I am trusting You again

If I fall down in darkness and this weakness comes to me

Hold the scepter out to come banging on Your door

I’m banging on Your door

Come down from the top of that mountain

Rise up from the bottom of the sea

I empty out the pockets of my life

With nothing to bring but my iniquities

I can’t wait to lay my head down on Your breast

I want to see your face, kiss the nail marks in Your hands

People think you’re just an image from a time so long ago

Not the God who I believe in whom re-aranged my world

Because the death and resurrection of Your beloved Son

And the mystery of the cross, and the power of His blood

You changed the things about me I could not change myself

And You loved me in my sin, You’re the God of all my help

And in my darkest hour, if weakness comes to me

Hold the scepter out to come banging on Your door

I’m banging on Your door

Come down from the top of that mountain

Rise up from the bottom of the sea

I empty out the pockets of my life

With nothing to bring but my iniquities

Come down oh Heavenly Father

Rise up on the inside of me

I empty out the pockets of my life

With nothing to bring but my iniquities

Like a Veiled Woman

Tell me, you whom I love,
where you graze your flock
and where you rest your sheep at midday.
Why should I be like a veiled woman
beside the flocks of your friends?

Song of Solomon 1:7

Have you ever wrestled with shame until your arms ached as you gripped the steering wheel all the way to church?

There are few places in this world that I’ve struggled about more than church. High school was one of those places that offered just as much struggle.

I was so curious about life and learning before I reached the crowded halls of high school. I didn’t anticipate anything close to that level of judgmentalness. The way I was judged in high school, one would think I was on trial with death row in the balance.  Every day I’d wrestle with shame, not wanting to get up out of bed and face the people who thought that way about me. I had enough of my own demons to fight every day, I didn’t want to fight everyone else’s, especially as ill-equipped as I was. Mostly, I wanted to be in a place where I felt pure and beautiful, not where I stood on the same pedestal as a prostitute.

In ancient times in the Middle East, a woman wore a veil so she could be easily identified as a prostitute, as we see by the actions of Tamar with Judah in Genesis 38. Tamar had to fight not only for her reputation but for her life, and used shrewd and savvy means to do this.

There’s another biblical person altogether who wore a veil: Moses. People were afraid of the glory shining from his face, so he wore a veil.

I felt more like Tamar than like Moses in high school. And throughout my walk with the Lord, I’ve felt more like Tamar than like Moses in church.

I think Jesus warned us against judging one another because we are so prone to doing this. As soon as we meet someone, we form an opinion, and we’ve often been trained to make a strong opinion either positive or negative. Our opinions don’t often leave room for grace.

But we long for grace. I do. I long to lie down in green pasture, and to be led beside still waters. I long for Jesus who always views me through grace-colored lenses. He said He’d be in the midst of two or three gathered in His name. That means being around other human beings.

Tell me, you whom I love,
where you graze your flock
and where you rest your sheep at midday.

How do I get past feeling like a veiled woman in the midst of other human beings? For years, I struggled with deep depression every single Sunday afternoon, except for those Sundays that I stayed home from church. Then I just wrestled with guilt.

My daughter watched The Wizard of Oz for the first time last week, and we’ve watched it almost every day since then. Goodness, gracious me! What a prophetic movie!

Do you remember how the wizard was projected with smoke and mirrors and lots of fear inducing sounds? Sometimes I think the reason we feel shame is because of the way God is projected. Yes, the fear of the Lord is the beginning of wisdom, but I don’t think many people understand this fear of the Lord. I don’t think I understand it very well, even though I’ve asked for this understanding.

But remember toward the end, when the curtain was parted and the wizard was revealed for who he was? Instead of giving the Scarecrow a brain, he affirmed the brain the Scarecrow already had. The same went with the Tinman and the Lion: they were told that they already possessed the very things they sought.

When we encounter the Living God for who He is, without all the smoke and mirrors, we discover that He’s already provided what we seek:

Mark 10:29-30 “Truly I tell you,” Jesus replied, “no one who has left home or brothers or sisters or mother or father or children or fields for me and the gospel will fail to receive a hundred times as much in this present age: homes, brothers, sisters, mothers, children and fields—along with persecutions—and in the age to come eternal life.” New International Version (NIV)

This verse gives us a clue to an answer: we need a God-built tribe around us. I’ve moved many, many times, and have had to let the Lord build this tribe for me again and again. Here’s what I’ve learned from these experiences: Never expect those in your tribe to be more or less perfect than you are, and never expect them to be the same type of person as you. Love them fiercely and give like it’s your love language.

I’m going to leave you with the lyrics of the choral song the Optimistic Voices sang while Dorothy and her friends were skipping away from the field of poppies (temptations) toward the Emerald City (promise):

You’re out of the woods
You’re out of the dark
You’re out of the night
Step into the sun, step into the light
Keep straight ahead
For the most glorious place
On the Face of the Earth
Or the sky

Hold onto your breath
Hold onto your heart
Hold onto your hope
March up to the gate
And bid it open!

(c)1939

Let God build you a tribe. And may He bless you mightily!